28 years ago on this day my dad ("Papi") passed away of lung cancer. His life on this earth may have been short lived in my eyes because I did not have the length of time that my siblings had with him. It does not lessen my relationship I had with him nor do I imply my siblings had it any better having known him longer than I did. We all grieved the same on the day the L-rd came to take Papi home. We all had similar stories to remember him by yet we had different ones as well which is something we all respectively carry and cherish all these years. In simple terms we (siblings) can all agree that we had a special dad, a good dad; the kind of dad rarely seen these days. He made sure we had the things we needed in life, but for certain he instilled within us the ability to laugh at things when all seemed bleak and to never back down when our rights were in harms way of being taken away or belittled. I remember he did not have much trust in others which is how I have lived my life. Careful not to allow others passage too deep within my life until I am certain they will not turn 'Judas' on me. We cannot always be guaranteed that people will not let us down (family or friends), but the things I heard Papi say as I was growing up and the way he handled himself during certain situations was a good, sound foundation for me to grown from which later in life helped me to move on and to be adventurous yet cautious.
The day he passed away remains somber for obvious reasons. It was sad for me as it clouded the beginning of my school days as an upperclassman and my life in general, but it was mainly sad in my eyes of course for Mama as she had lost the love of her life; it pains my heart as I recount the many, many nights she cried herself to sleep; widowed much too young at the age of 48. But I was also sad because my older siblings each lost something aside from their dad - again I thought about how they had known him longer than me and had strong ties with him. It was as if we lost our family unit there for a while, but as time went by Mama stepped up to the plate and made life safe, at least she did for me in her own way. The teachings her and Papi instilled in me as a little girl until the teenager I was when Papi passed away stayed with me and the way Mama handled Papi's death was not just a reminder of what I needed to do, but it was a reaffirmation that Mama was indeed a strong woman. She was not just full of the talk, but she was determined to walk the walk and for her faith, her conviction, her strength, I remain thankful. She took over where Papi left off. She did not do so to try to fill his shoes, she just stepped in and did what she had to so our family could flourish and that was that.
I pay tribute to Papi today as this is the anniversary of the day he passed away, I also pay tribute to Mama as she made things easy for me some 28 years ago when I was scared and I could not imagine I would have such a wonderful life as I have right now. Her and Papi always said never to let anyone bully me or to put me down much less try to make me feel like a failure. Guess what, Mama and Papi, you did it...your words and your actions made me strong and for that I really am humbled and ever so grateful. For those things you did for me as parents should do - I am thankful. For those things you did for me because you wanted to - I am so joyful. For those things you did for me with positive outcome despite the times I was not so strong or positive - I celebrate your lives today.
So in closing I say this to all my family as I am sure most already realize it and totally agree...taking care of Mama should be a main objective in all of our lives and a high priority for obvious reasons these days. Not just because of the things she has done for all of us all of these years, but because one day we will be remembering her in the same manner. We need to ensure we take care of her and her needs going forth. No finger pointing, no waiting for others to take the bull by the horn. We ALL know her needs, we need not wait for her to ask anything of us. What terrible children we would be if we let her down especially now when she needs us the most even if she does not say so or directly ask us for it. Mostly it would be disappointing to let her down now when she has never-ever let any of us down in the past - not even these days. She remains strong for sure and her faith continues to be unwavering, but she needs our help. When we needed help, she just dove in and did her part whether we deserved it or not - whether we asked for it or not - she just did it. Let's not forsake her now. This is our turn, our test, let's not let failure be our friend but our enemy. Papi would be proud of us knowing we are taking care of his "queen".
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