Dear Mama,
It is with great sorrow, disbelief but with honor with which I write this. I thought our family would have many more years with you on this earth. I always pictured you much older, in great health and with us until you were ready to go quietly and peacefully in your own warm bed. So much turned out differently but in the end you went the way you would have wanted – your way, your time and for sure like the adage goes..."a lady always knows when to go" and for sure you were a lady – a classy lady, a special lady and an awesome Mother and you knew when to go. Perhaps it was befitting that in some ironical manner the terrible news of your illness would come on Valentine’s Day – you were and always will be our “sweetheart”. I remember the morning we received the terrible news and the way you looked and what you said. Despite the bad news you kept your faith, your hope, your positive attitude and the battle of your life ensued. You were determined to beat the odds and with God leading the way, you tried so hard and you were victorious in the end.
It is so surreal to me that you are gone now. The queen of our family is gone and the silence is deafening and the heart ache is unbearable at times. Going to your home – our home – is so hard for now yet there comes a great calm as well in going there. Your home was a place of great refuge, of many great memories, and we will honor your time with us going forward each time we go there; you will always be there to welcome us, I get such comfort knowing that.
I always had a love of writing and am glad that words do not elude me now as I write this letter to you, Mama. I hope you do not mind that I do so but that I am not strong enough to recite it out loud and am asking Sara to do so on my behalf. I never had an issue with sharing my written work but speaking in public was never my specialty - especially not now when I feel such a lump in my throat because you are not physically sitting down next to me as I grew accustomed to as we did so many things together through-out these years. You would probably say something like “hagace fuerte, mija” or perhaps you would say something to make me laugh – maybe you would refer to that one “vieja menza” joke. You always had a knack for making me laugh and in turn I was able to repay the favor. At least I hope I was and not just getting on your nerves. I remember the one time Chepa and I were with you when you told the doctor in humor, at least I hope it was in humor, that your “daughters made you sick” as we sat there saying things to lighten the mood. You tried not to laugh, but we ultimately had you in stitches as well. You tried to remain serious, but all of us daughters knew how to make you laugh - you always caved in and the loss of control made you upset at us but there you were laughing with us all the same.
The vacation we had planned for September and November eluded us but as I told some family members the other night, you went on ahead of us. You are free of pain now and your illness is gone. I am sure Papi, Philip and your own mother were all there to greet you as you slowly left this world and made your journey home to them and to your Maker. I am quite certain that Papi was especially ready to be reunited with “his reina” and that makes me happy and makes me laugh at the same time as I am also sure he had several questions for you like “¿en qué estabas pensando, mujer?”…I leave that scenario alone now.
I made the following analogy and shared it with Sara several days ago and then I shared it with Mama the day before she passed away. Mama was still very much coherent and still talking and laughing. I had compared life to a loaf of bread. That life, like bread, begins with a tail end and most people reached the best part of the bread – the sweet, soft middle, quicker than most while others took longer to reach it. Mama found hers and never took advantage of it. She saved the best slices always for her children. We always came first in her life and we savored the bread. We took the slices and in turn shared them with our respective children and loved ones. So much bread was shared and so many people were fed with the bread which Mama provided and so unselfishly shared with us, with other loved ones, with friends and even with strangers. No one went hungry under Mama’s watch. But in life as with the loaf of bread comes another tail end. That end is what determines and ultimately defines us all. Some will end up with an o.k. slice, some may end up with a nice, soft and sweet end, and some may not get that far and may find themselves with green slices before they reach the end. Mama I am certain found a huge, thick, sweet Texas-sized slice waiting for her as she reached her end. She never turned away a hungry person; she fed everyone whether with food, words of encouragement, or advice, all were always fed. People could make Mama mad but she always picked her battles and in the end she forgave. No matter who made her mad, upset or sad, Mama never took things out on others. For that indirect lesson I am thankful and will always remember Mama. Going forward I will continue to live in her honor and in her memory as simply and without regret or judgment as she did led by the one simple rule which we should all know but few follow, but Mama did and it is the “Golden Rule”…"do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I know Mama sacrificed so much for her family because so many of you have come forward to share your memories of her and they have been beautiful – as beautiful as the person Mama was and will always be. She touched so many people in so many ways and she sacrificed for strangers and friends as well like we are supposed to do in life. She may have been tough at times but when the tough got tougher she was there to hold us but always to remind us to be strong saying those very words which we will always remember “hagan ser fuerte”.
As for my siblings and I, though we find ourselves at a great loss - we now and forever share a common bond…a new word is now added to how we might be defined…that word is “orphan”…not out of abandonment as most would first think but the way it is first written in many dictionaries…"a child who has lost both parents through death". But as Papi and Mami taught us, we all have each other. We continue their teachings, their traditions and will spread the wealth of life as they did. Lucky that we had such beautiful and loving parents and happy that they are together now. It will be a difficult journey for us to continue as we are saddened to not have either one with us, but we will find our way as they would have liked and encouraged us to do so. The awesome examples they set before us is where we now take over. The best word we will share and will definitely share with pride as we do move forward is simply this - "sibling". Forever grateful that we were and always will be the children of Rodolfo and Eva Dominguez Sr.
It is with great sorrow, disbelief but with honor with which I write this. I thought our family would have many more years with you on this earth. I always pictured you much older, in great health and with us until you were ready to go quietly and peacefully in your own warm bed. So much turned out differently but in the end you went the way you would have wanted – your way, your time and for sure like the adage goes..."a lady always knows when to go" and for sure you were a lady – a classy lady, a special lady and an awesome Mother and you knew when to go. Perhaps it was befitting that in some ironical manner the terrible news of your illness would come on Valentine’s Day – you were and always will be our “sweetheart”. I remember the morning we received the terrible news and the way you looked and what you said. Despite the bad news you kept your faith, your hope, your positive attitude and the battle of your life ensued. You were determined to beat the odds and with God leading the way, you tried so hard and you were victorious in the end.
It is so surreal to me that you are gone now. The queen of our family is gone and the silence is deafening and the heart ache is unbearable at times. Going to your home – our home – is so hard for now yet there comes a great calm as well in going there. Your home was a place of great refuge, of many great memories, and we will honor your time with us going forward each time we go there; you will always be there to welcome us, I get such comfort knowing that.
I always had a love of writing and am glad that words do not elude me now as I write this letter to you, Mama. I hope you do not mind that I do so but that I am not strong enough to recite it out loud and am asking Sara to do so on my behalf. I never had an issue with sharing my written work but speaking in public was never my specialty - especially not now when I feel such a lump in my throat because you are not physically sitting down next to me as I grew accustomed to as we did so many things together through-out these years. You would probably say something like “hagace fuerte, mija” or perhaps you would say something to make me laugh – maybe you would refer to that one “vieja menza” joke. You always had a knack for making me laugh and in turn I was able to repay the favor. At least I hope I was and not just getting on your nerves. I remember the one time Chepa and I were with you when you told the doctor in humor, at least I hope it was in humor, that your “daughters made you sick” as we sat there saying things to lighten the mood. You tried not to laugh, but we ultimately had you in stitches as well. You tried to remain serious, but all of us daughters knew how to make you laugh - you always caved in and the loss of control made you upset at us but there you were laughing with us all the same.
The vacation we had planned for September and November eluded us but as I told some family members the other night, you went on ahead of us. You are free of pain now and your illness is gone. I am sure Papi, Philip and your own mother were all there to greet you as you slowly left this world and made your journey home to them and to your Maker. I am quite certain that Papi was especially ready to be reunited with “his reina” and that makes me happy and makes me laugh at the same time as I am also sure he had several questions for you like “¿en qué estabas pensando, mujer?”…I leave that scenario alone now.
I made the following analogy and shared it with Sara several days ago and then I shared it with Mama the day before she passed away. Mama was still very much coherent and still talking and laughing. I had compared life to a loaf of bread. That life, like bread, begins with a tail end and most people reached the best part of the bread – the sweet, soft middle, quicker than most while others took longer to reach it. Mama found hers and never took advantage of it. She saved the best slices always for her children. We always came first in her life and we savored the bread. We took the slices and in turn shared them with our respective children and loved ones. So much bread was shared and so many people were fed with the bread which Mama provided and so unselfishly shared with us, with other loved ones, with friends and even with strangers. No one went hungry under Mama’s watch. But in life as with the loaf of bread comes another tail end. That end is what determines and ultimately defines us all. Some will end up with an o.k. slice, some may end up with a nice, soft and sweet end, and some may not get that far and may find themselves with green slices before they reach the end. Mama I am certain found a huge, thick, sweet Texas-sized slice waiting for her as she reached her end. She never turned away a hungry person; she fed everyone whether with food, words of encouragement, or advice, all were always fed. People could make Mama mad but she always picked her battles and in the end she forgave. No matter who made her mad, upset or sad, Mama never took things out on others. For that indirect lesson I am thankful and will always remember Mama. Going forward I will continue to live in her honor and in her memory as simply and without regret or judgment as she did led by the one simple rule which we should all know but few follow, but Mama did and it is the “Golden Rule”…"do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I know Mama sacrificed so much for her family because so many of you have come forward to share your memories of her and they have been beautiful – as beautiful as the person Mama was and will always be. She touched so many people in so many ways and she sacrificed for strangers and friends as well like we are supposed to do in life. She may have been tough at times but when the tough got tougher she was there to hold us but always to remind us to be strong saying those very words which we will always remember “hagan ser fuerte”.
As for my siblings and I, though we find ourselves at a great loss - we now and forever share a common bond…a new word is now added to how we might be defined…that word is “orphan”…not out of abandonment as most would first think but the way it is first written in many dictionaries…"a child who has lost both parents through death". But as Papi and Mami taught us, we all have each other. We continue their teachings, their traditions and will spread the wealth of life as they did. Lucky that we had such beautiful and loving parents and happy that they are together now. It will be a difficult journey for us to continue as we are saddened to not have either one with us, but we will find our way as they would have liked and encouraged us to do so. The awesome examples they set before us is where we now take over. The best word we will share and will definitely share with pride as we do move forward is simply this - "sibling". Forever grateful that we were and always will be the children of Rodolfo and Eva Dominguez Sr.
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