FYI: I muted the sounds on this site for today in honor of our PAPI, Rodolfo Dominguez Sr.
Our dear "PAPI" (the term of endearment we, his children, had for him) or "Popo" (the one his grandchildren had for him) passed away on a Thursday night on August 18th, 1983. I remember the day like it was yesterday. The following short story is just my account of the events of that day which led to the demise and final rest of my dear dad, our PAPI!
It was the first day of my junior year in high school. As was in August it was not too hot, but not so cool. I took the bus to school as I often did because there was little or no money for me to get a car and no one else could make that trip to get me to school. Nonetheless I endured the bus ride as it did help me to gather my thoughts. It was back then as it still is until this very day my "down time". The time I need in the mornings to gather my thoughts and to get my ducks in a row with priorities and such. I was very worried about Papi, not so much nervous about it being the first day of school. Not even because it would be my first stint at being an upperclassman, alas a junior. Finally in the upper echelon of the class system known to all in high school...one of the "top cheeses". Ha, ha. I was a little worried because Papi had awoken to another bad day - his morning started off badly due to having endured a bad night. Mami looked worried and so very tired. My sis Betty was herself getting ready for her day. Not sure if she was getting ready for work or what, but she was up with the rest of us.
As the bus arrived at each of the three schools (mine would be the third and last stop), I pondered my own future without Papi. I wondered mostly how Mami was going to survive without him when the fateful day did arrive. She was a strong woman, but hardly a day went by that I can remember when Mami and Papi were not together. Either working, shopping or tending to house-hold chores and stuff, they were always together. Like Forrest said in the movie "Forrest Gump ", they went 'together like peas and carrots'. Not sure about that analogy, but I believe I understand it now.
As the bus rolled into the rear parking lot of my high school, I remembered I did not want to be there. Many a day had caught me in this mood, but today was different. My reasons for not wanting to be here were valid in that I wanted to be home with Mami and Papi. I did not make a big deal about it, I guess I was too afraid to risk breaking down and crying, so I nonchalantly got off the bus and walked up through the smelly, old athletic building where all the gyms were located. I continued on towards the famous cat-walk. I stopped at the cat-walk, again pondering a life without Papi and trying hard not to cry - my jaw aching so badly it felt like it would break (just like today as I write this). I wiped the small amount of tears starting to roll down my cheeks, sighed a long-deep sigh and took in more of the morning air and mustered up the courage to keep moving towards the cafeteria where I would await the first-period bell. I do not recall my schedule for that semester so I won't even try to say I was in this classroom or that classroom. All I remember are the teachers- the compassionate ones who would in later days after finding out about Papi's death- would try to console me in their own ways. Only a handful did this, the others I figure did not know what to say or do. Anyway, I don't remember lunch on this day except that I may have skipped it. It was later in the day, and this classroom I do remember, it was during 5th period advanced English, that an office worker came into the room. She handed my teacher a note, then my teacher looked at me and without having to say anything, I got up from my desk and followed the office person. At the office waiting for me was my sister Betty's boss, Lynette. Lynette actually owned the local 'mom and pop' jewelry store, Blum's, where my sister Betty was employed by them, the Brook's family. Lynette took my things (books and such) and said to follow her. Upon getting to her vehicle, she told me that my dad had gotten very sick and was rushed to the hospital where he had been admitted. She prepared me for the worse, adding that my dad would probably not make it through the night. I was a little perturbed at her for saying such a thing, but years later it was a blessing to me that she did prepare me for such a journey. A journey that would indeed change my world and the world of our entire Dominguez family as we knew it.
I was scared as we arrived at the hospital. The bad aura, the awful hospital smells and all the dated furnishings - everything so cold and bleak - no comfort to be found at all. The surroundings all too familiar as we had been there on so many occasions - too many occasions. I was able to talk to Papi that day. I am not sure he heard me, but deep down I am more certain that he did. In a way I was able to say goodbye to him even though I would not be there with him later that evening when he did pass away and went to his final resting place. Mami and my sister, Aurora (Gora), would be there with him and til this day I am ever so grateful that Papi had those two by his side when he crossed over to meet his Maker. Especially glad that Mami was there because they were everything to one another. Anyway the day appeared to have been long for most, but for me it had gone too quickly and it was time for us to leave as visiting hours had arrived, they ended at 9 pm. I believe I went home with Betty. After getting home I remember being on the phone helping to tutor my Vietnamese friend, Lan Mai, with something, probably English as that subject/that class is usually what gave her the most grief. I felt bad because I would later learn that my having been on the phone kept my sister, Aurora, from calling us back to the hospital as Papi had taken a turn for the worse some time after 10 pm. I had to accept my ill-fated call with Lan which kept us from going back to the hospital sooner and maybe with time to say our "good-byes" to being something that was just meant to be and go on with my life or else it would have driven me completely mad. It would take me years and years before I would find that comfort though.
As we returned to the hospital after Aurora did finally get through the line and summoned us back to the hospital, we walked out of the elevator, Mami was in the hallway staring at us and crying. Not having to say it, but with her gestures we knew it, Papi was gone. I ran to her and she confirmed that Papi had passed away. I ran away towards the hallway which leads one to the clinic. Another cat-walk like the one at my high school where I had made myself be strong so I could survive my first day of school. I would now have to muster the same courage to return to Papi's room to be there for Mami, for the family and finally to bid farewell to Papi. A man who was a lot older than Mami and most thought was my grandfather instead of my dad. That always made me mad. Papi and I never had the time to develop the kind of relationship he had with my older siblings. I being the youngest of five sisters and one brother, was a little torn at not having had the same amount of time as the others had had with Papi. They all had known him a lot longer. I was just beginning to know him. I eventually regained my composure and returned to Papi's room. I saw Mami drawing the sheets over his head, but Aurora pulled them back down. I was glad Aurora had done that. It made me feel better as I walked towards the bed and gently kissed him on the forehead, told him I loved him and hugged him the best I could. The end of an era indeed. Our Papi was gone. The cancer that had stricken him just months earlier had finally won out in the end. But PAPI would now be at rest, worry-free and pain-free, and on his final journey to 'his' new home.
It was the first day of my junior year in high school. As was in August it was not too hot, but not so cool. I took the bus to school as I often did because there was little or no money for me to get a car and no one else could make that trip to get me to school. Nonetheless I endured the bus ride as it did help me to gather my thoughts. It was back then as it still is until this very day my "down time". The time I need in the mornings to gather my thoughts and to get my ducks in a row with priorities and such. I was very worried about Papi, not so much nervous about it being the first day of school. Not even because it would be my first stint at being an upperclassman, alas a junior. Finally in the upper echelon of the class system known to all in high school...one of the "top cheeses". Ha, ha. I was a little worried because Papi had awoken to another bad day - his morning started off badly due to having endured a bad night. Mami looked worried and so very tired. My sis Betty was herself getting ready for her day. Not sure if she was getting ready for work or what, but she was up with the rest of us.
As the bus arrived at each of the three schools (mine would be the third and last stop), I pondered my own future without Papi. I wondered mostly how Mami was going to survive without him when the fateful day did arrive. She was a strong woman, but hardly a day went by that I can remember when Mami and Papi were not together. Either working, shopping or tending to house-hold chores and stuff, they were always together. Like Forrest said in the movie "Forrest Gump ", they went 'together like peas and carrots'. Not sure about that analogy, but I believe I understand it now.
As the bus rolled into the rear parking lot of my high school, I remembered I did not want to be there. Many a day had caught me in this mood, but today was different. My reasons for not wanting to be here were valid in that I wanted to be home with Mami and Papi. I did not make a big deal about it, I guess I was too afraid to risk breaking down and crying, so I nonchalantly got off the bus and walked up through the smelly, old athletic building where all the gyms were located. I continued on towards the famous cat-walk. I stopped at the cat-walk, again pondering a life without Papi and trying hard not to cry - my jaw aching so badly it felt like it would break (just like today as I write this). I wiped the small amount of tears starting to roll down my cheeks, sighed a long-deep sigh and took in more of the morning air and mustered up the courage to keep moving towards the cafeteria where I would await the first-period bell. I do not recall my schedule for that semester so I won't even try to say I was in this classroom or that classroom. All I remember are the teachers- the compassionate ones who would in later days after finding out about Papi's death- would try to console me in their own ways. Only a handful did this, the others I figure did not know what to say or do. Anyway, I don't remember lunch on this day except that I may have skipped it. It was later in the day, and this classroom I do remember, it was during 5th period advanced English, that an office worker came into the room. She handed my teacher a note, then my teacher looked at me and without having to say anything, I got up from my desk and followed the office person. At the office waiting for me was my sister Betty's boss, Lynette. Lynette actually owned the local 'mom and pop' jewelry store, Blum's, where my sister Betty was employed by them, the Brook's family. Lynette took my things (books and such) and said to follow her. Upon getting to her vehicle, she told me that my dad had gotten very sick and was rushed to the hospital where he had been admitted. She prepared me for the worse, adding that my dad would probably not make it through the night. I was a little perturbed at her for saying such a thing, but years later it was a blessing to me that she did prepare me for such a journey. A journey that would indeed change my world and the world of our entire Dominguez family as we knew it.
I was scared as we arrived at the hospital. The bad aura, the awful hospital smells and all the dated furnishings - everything so cold and bleak - no comfort to be found at all. The surroundings all too familiar as we had been there on so many occasions - too many occasions. I was able to talk to Papi that day. I am not sure he heard me, but deep down I am more certain that he did. In a way I was able to say goodbye to him even though I would not be there with him later that evening when he did pass away and went to his final resting place. Mami and my sister, Aurora (Gora), would be there with him and til this day I am ever so grateful that Papi had those two by his side when he crossed over to meet his Maker. Especially glad that Mami was there because they were everything to one another. Anyway the day appeared to have been long for most, but for me it had gone too quickly and it was time for us to leave as visiting hours had arrived, they ended at 9 pm. I believe I went home with Betty. After getting home I remember being on the phone helping to tutor my Vietnamese friend, Lan Mai, with something, probably English as that subject/that class is usually what gave her the most grief. I felt bad because I would later learn that my having been on the phone kept my sister, Aurora, from calling us back to the hospital as Papi had taken a turn for the worse some time after 10 pm. I had to accept my ill-fated call with Lan which kept us from going back to the hospital sooner and maybe with time to say our "good-byes" to being something that was just meant to be and go on with my life or else it would have driven me completely mad. It would take me years and years before I would find that comfort though.
As we returned to the hospital after Aurora did finally get through the line and summoned us back to the hospital, we walked out of the elevator, Mami was in the hallway staring at us and crying. Not having to say it, but with her gestures we knew it, Papi was gone. I ran to her and she confirmed that Papi had passed away. I ran away towards the hallway which leads one to the clinic. Another cat-walk like the one at my high school where I had made myself be strong so I could survive my first day of school. I would now have to muster the same courage to return to Papi's room to be there for Mami, for the family and finally to bid farewell to Papi. A man who was a lot older than Mami and most thought was my grandfather instead of my dad. That always made me mad. Papi and I never had the time to develop the kind of relationship he had with my older siblings. I being the youngest of five sisters and one brother, was a little torn at not having had the same amount of time as the others had had with Papi. They all had known him a lot longer. I was just beginning to know him. I eventually regained my composure and returned to Papi's room. I saw Mami drawing the sheets over his head, but Aurora pulled them back down. I was glad Aurora had done that. It made me feel better as I walked towards the bed and gently kissed him on the forehead, told him I loved him and hugged him the best I could. The end of an era indeed. Our Papi was gone. The cancer that had stricken him just months earlier had finally won out in the end. But PAPI would now be at rest, worry-free and pain-free, and on his final journey to 'his' new home.
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