Story from a cleft palate

(click on pic)

back row L to R: me, Dora & sister Eva; middle is sister Josie; front row L to R are sister Aurora, our Mom, & sister Betty.

Reflecting on past holidays, events and such with family, I sit here writing this blog with appreciation for what the good Lord has given me in this lifetime with family and especially with great parents. What they have meant to me and how having such good parents has helped me deal with many difficulties in my life.

Having been born a cleft-palate was difficult in my younger years as other kids can be so cruel. Being called "hare-lip" or "crooked nose" was terrible and my only way of coping was usually to hit. It did get me into trouble as is often the case when the last person to retaliate is usually the one who is caught and punished. Mom was always the wrath I feared the most when I was sent home crying, though. My sister Eva often had to leave her own classroom to deal with me until Mom arrived to pick me up at the Principal's office. With Mom it was always important that we should fight back to defend ourselves or we would be in worse trouble with her. My sister Josie can attest to that as she was never the fighting type and that fact often caused her more grief than not with Mom. Dad usually just agreed with Mom and sided along with her, but there were a handful of times when he had my back and did not allow for anyone to punish me knowing I was only defending myself at school.

My wonderful Dad passed away 26 years ago (1983) from lung cancer. He was almost 65 years old. He died on the first day of my junior year in high school. A family friend came to the school to pick me up, she was my sister Betty's supervisor at the time and maybe a thorn in her side from time to time (to time, ha-ha!). She drove me to the hospital where my Dad was. The friend explained how ill my Dad was and that I should prepare myself because he would probably pass away soon and maybe not even last through that very evening. I was upset both at her for what she was saying and at life for this awful wrench which had been thrown into our plans. For maybe taking my Dad away before I could do anything significant with my own life. Before I could become the person I did strive to be, before accomplishing my goals and seeking the profession in either law or finance so I could support my parents as they had always done for me. My Dad's life was not to be extended long enough for me to reach those goals and he did indeed pass away later that night at the hospital. Thank goodness he did pass away in a warm bed with my dear Mom at his side as well as my oldest sister, Aurora. For that I was grateful. Going forward, whatever I was to do, I would do it in recognition of a life well lived by my Dad and to help take care of his loving wife. My Mom was only 48 when Dad died; she was just days from reaching the age of 49, too young to be a widow but it was so.

In these current times, ppl get so busy with life to have more ($$$) and they fall short on family values and family time. After all, those latter things are free and more important and more worthy of our time. A job will always be there. One works as hard as one can and a job is never far away. But, one neglects family and puts family second, and the time wasted is never gotten back. Priorities are priorities and I know jobs can take the lead at times, but family should never be picked over a stupid job. Just my thoughts on appreciating family and doing as much as I can especially for my Mom. Thank the Lord we still have Mom. We should do more for her especially when we know she needs help but would never ask. Showing up for life to take care of loved ones should be so easy. A message I have learned for sure.

Anyway, as another holiday draws near and I look forward to being with family, I grow fonder of family and can see a wider definition of the term. It means more to me now that I have almost reached the age of 43, and I take it more serious. Grateful still for the scars on my lip that remind me how lucky I really am and how worse it could have been. Thank you, Mami & Papi, and my siblings (for their tender care of me as well when I was growing up) and many, many thanks to the Lord!