Don't eat pizza with a fork!

This topic was too funny for me to post on my other blogs and not on this one. So here goes - I hope you all enjoy it.

First, who in the world eats pizza with a fork?
Well, I used to - I am a culprit of doing as such.

Back in my 20s and 30s my nails were way longer than I allow them to be now that I am in my 40s (shhh! that is a secret). I was too fru-fru (frilly) to allow anything to hinder the appearance of my nails. I hated anything to get under them. Especially not food thus I ate anything that most people eat hand-to-mouth with a fork. Pizza was one of those foods. Add to the list hot dogs, bar-be-que (chicken, ribs), hot wings, and corn on the cob. Actually I still don't eat corn on the cob hand to mouth, I use my cutlery to saw off the kernels, but that is another story for another time.
I was never much of a van Gogh ala getting my nails painted. As a matter of fact I despised painting my nails. I hated the way nail polish felt on them. It made me feel like my nails could not breathe. I was afraid of the diseases (fungal) that wearing nail polish could incite. Not all people who wear nail polish get a nail fungus, but I was so not taking that chance. Wanting to protect my own nails, though, I opted for a clear coat. What was the difference you ask? My answer is...'heck if I know!'. It was probably all in my head. All I know is that if I didn't see the nail finish on my nails, it wasn't there.
Do I still eat these foods with a fork? Heck NO! I now enjoy the way eating them hand to mouth feels. The fork was a hindrance, but I never knew it because I was too self-absorbed in keeping my nails looking good. I was always complimented on my hands and nails so I was too concerned over their upkeep so I neglected enjoying all finger food as it was meant to be enjoyed.

* As is in life, always being too mindful of the way certain things look versus simply enjoying life the way it should be enjoyed. *

When I started keeping my nails a lot shorter, I started enjoying actual finger-food. There is no better way to eat pizza then to grab a big slice, to fold it over and just pop it in your mouth and take a great, big bite. There is no better way to eat bar-be-que either then to just grab it (forget about the sauce getting all over your hands, fingers and face) and go-to-town. Hot dogs, too. You don't appreciate the real taste of one unless you just load it up with lots of chili sauce, onions, and whatever other condiments you like (I like to add tomatoes, relish and sauerkraut on mine), grab it (be careful not to squeeze the bun too tight, though. Hee, hee.), pop that pup in your mouth and bite the crap out of it until you hear the skin pop. YUM!!!

What's the moral of this story? If I have to explain it to you then you really haven't been enjoying your life as you should either. Throw caution to the wind, my brathahs and sistahs, and enjoy the heck out of life. Leave the fork for what it was it was really intended...to put a weenie on it while you roast it over an open flame on your stove for a late-night snack.